Sgt. Kabukiman: The Wonderful Aroma of Troma

Have you ever wondered what happens when a NYPD cop busts in on a dying Kabuki master? Why the kabuki master give the police officer some magic Kabuki worms, of course, and the NYPD cop turns into a super kabuki crime fighter (way better than power rangers). I confess that I saw this film a long time ago in a galaxy that was quite far away. Needless to say, I only remember that it was definitely the "bestest movie ever."

In one scene Harry Griswald (Mike Brune) he possessed cop, turns into Kabuki man before battling the evil one. In a semi-interesting side note, the evil one was played by Bill Weeden, whom I drove around for the production of Holocaust Holocaust: Destined to be Ingested. I don't blame you if you don't believe me. Here is the trailer to prove the insanity.



If you know this movie is for you, I recommend that you either buy it here: Buy From Amazon for $22

You could download it for $9.99 or rent it for $2.99 Here

Or buy/rent it through iTunes here: Movie Rentals Now Available on iTunes

Or Sign Up For Netflix!

Let me just remind you what you're missing!



Happy Crimefighting and Raw Fish Eating!!!

-Miles

Killer Klowns from Outer Space: Delivers As Promised

Why is it that every time I go out to the video store there is just nothing I want to watch? I mean, I have fairly ordinary tastes: carnival, clowns, aliens, murder. Why then should I never find a movie that satisfies my love for the circus AND bloodlust? Well let me tell you, my longing for such things is over, after I saw Killer Klowns from Outer Space.

Honestly, this is a movie that you could watch three times in a row and retain 10% of what's going on. Basically there are a bunch of characters running around and occationally they get hit with a cotton-candy death ray and are brought to the tent-shaped space ships. To my knowledge there are several protagonists try to explain why their friends are missing. To my knowledge they eventually go back to the space ship to kick some Klown butt...or something.

By the way, fine audience, I once had a girlfriend who was afraid of clowns. What I would give to show her this movie now... or send her to a clown infested plantet. That's neither here nor there. I won't waste any more of your time with my blabbering. I will however show you some fine clips from the film:

Theatrical Trailer


You get the idea:


KKfOS IMPULSE BUY!!!

Little Shop Of Horrors Meets Knight Rider in Blood Car

Imagine this: (forgive me) IN A WORLD WHERE oil prices continue to rise to record levels, one man must solve the fuel crisis... with BLOOD, human blood. Our protagonist, Archie Andrews (played by Mike Blune) is a vegan kindergarden teacher who tinkers with a wheatgrass engine as a science-guru hobby. In several surreal scenes he purchases said wheatgrass with the nerd-i-licious "Veg Table" wheatgrass vendor, Lorraine (played by Anna Chlumsky) the headliner who was in "Stand By Me"). Directly across from the Veg-Table is the sultry seductress Denise, who gets hot for Archie and his blood car. Smut ensues... awesome smut.

I won't give too much away; and Archie does succeed in building his engine... only it runs ON HUMAN BLOOD. SOOO AWESOME! Here is the preview:



If you have seen enough and know that this film is for you, you have a number of options. Perhaps you would like to buy such a piece of cinema, and pass it around the dorm. If so,Buy Here

I found the film hilarious throughout as Archie is caught in vicious moral dilemmas. As the film moves forward there is one fantastic scene where he is killing squirrels and puppies to feed his car. As he looks at them, he says, "I'm sorry little squirrel, I'm not going to eat you, you'll just be fuel." -Brilliant. Somehow, though, I can see the premise becoming more and more real.

-Miles

Bestest Movie Ever! An Uncomprehensive Guide To Crazy Cult Film!

Greetings all,

I would like to introduce to you my newest blog-experience: Bestest Movie Ever! The name, as you may have guessed, is what I say during the most ridonkulous movies I've seen. Through my guide I hope that you will discover violent, zany, smutty entertainment as I have and civilization will benefit as a result. Also, in a shameless attempt to generate commerce, I will have links posted throughout to purchase/rent said movies. With all of our help perhaps consumer confidence can rise to a slightly greater level! Viva capitalismo!

-Miles